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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 04:23
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About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
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A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
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One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
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I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
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Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
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Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
I am not young enough to know everything.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
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Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
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The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
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Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
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Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
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Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
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Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
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The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
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Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
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A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
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A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
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Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
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A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
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It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
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Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
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